Home is wherever we are if there's love here too
by daisydoctor13
Summary: Based on a suggestion on tumblr from knowthatiloveyou, Serena comes home from sabbatical without telling anyone so she can adjust and gets home to find Bernie asleep in her bed on her side, maybe in her bed clothes Basically just fluff, fluff and more fluff


**A/N: Originally posted on AO3. Based on a suggestion on tumblr from knowthatiloveyou, Serena comes home from sabbatical without telling anyone so she can adjust and gets home to find Bernie asleep in her bed on her side, maybe in her bed clothes**

 **Basically, just fluff, fluff and more fluff**

9:30pm

Serena gave the taxi driver the money and heaved her suitcase out of the boot. She hadn't taken much with her, but 4 months travelling through Europe had meant she'd picked up quite a lot on the way. Not much of it was for her, she'd got books and souvenirs from the Normandy battlefields for Jason, jewellery from Italy for Morven, trinkets for the Fletchlings and quite a lot of suspicious looking alcohol from Hungary. It was supposedly made from apples, but all it did was burn Serena's throat - Raf and Fletch would love it.

She had splashed out on Bernie, at first on the trip she had been constantly reminded of Elinor, yet as she'd travelled, Bernie was often the first person she thought of when she saw things. Some designer Italian sunglasses that brought an image of Bernie wearing them as she drove the Mazda with the top down, hair flying behind her; a clasp for said unruly hair, and so many more things.

Even when she was sight seeing, she longed to have Bernie by her side, once the aching of not having her daughter there had faded slightly. It hadn't gone completely, but Serena could manage it. Sometimes the sadness would creep up on her gradually, other times it hit her like a tsunami wave, and she wouldn't be able to breathe. But these instances were getting less frequent.

That's why she'd decided to come back. She knew that anymore time away wouldn't help her, she needed to be with people again, to get back to normal. Not that she would ever get back to the 'normal' before what had happened, but she hoped to find a new 'normal', and she hoped that would include Bernie.

They had kept in touch, Serena always updating Bernie on where she was, sending photos of beautiful city landscapes, herself on a riverboat, Shiraz in hand. Bernie in turn kept her abreast of the situation at Holby, without going into too much detail as she knew Serena was still raw from the events that had occurred. They chatted, laughed and sometimes cried together if one had had a particularly rough day.

Bernie had been staying at Serena's while she was gone. It seemed silly for the house to be empty and before she'd left Bernie had practically moved in anyway. She still had the flat, the rent was cheap and Bernie wanted to have somewhere so that Serena could have her own space if needed when she came back. Serena had got the feeling that Bernie had been staying there to feel closer to Serena, although she had never admitted it, always making excuses about it being closer to the gym, or the boiler at her flat being broken. Serena didn't mind, she wanted Bernie to have put her own little touches on her home, to make it 'theirs' rather than Serena's.

She looked at the house now. It was dark, which didn't surprise Serena, it was still fairly early and Bernie would either be at work or visiting Jason. Serena hadn't told anyone she was coming home. She needed some time to herself, to work out what the new her looked like back in Holby. She knew she would see Bernie soon, but wanted to get settled in first.

She left her bags in the hallway and made her way upstairs, it had been a long day and she wanted to collapse in bed. She opened the door to her bedroom and gasped in surprise. Bernie was there, fast asleep, curled up on Serena's side of the bed. The months away had made Serena forget just how breathtaking Bernie was in the flesh. Her mind had no hope of recalling the hundreds of golden tones in her hair, the exact sculpting of her elegant neck and collarbones, her never ending toned legs.

It was a warm night and Bernie had thrown the covers off, and Serena smiled slightly. She was wearing Serena's nightdress. It was a simple cotton one, with spaghetti straps and a lace hem, too big for Bernie's slight frame. She looked gorgeous.

Suddenly, Serena regretted not telling Bernie she was returning. How could she think she needed any more time away from this woman. The woman she loved more than anything in this world. She was so glad that Bernie was there, that she hadn't given up on Serena, despite being given no promises. Then guilt washed over her. Bernie's face, although asleep, showed a slight frown, a hint of worry. By the light of the streetlamp outside (Bernie had obviously crashed into bed without closing the curtains), she could see the shadow of circles under her eyes. She'd been working overtime on AAU because Serena had left and although she never said so when they spoke, it had obviously been a lot to take on.

Bernie could sleep through anything, years of practice in the army meant that no sounds disturbed her when she was asleep. Somehow though, despite Serena being as quiet as possible, she sensed a presence in the room. Blinking a few times to adjust to the darkness, she saw a familiar figure standing in the doorway. Serena.

She leapt out of bed, embarrassed at having been caught on Serena's side, in her nightdress. She'd told Serena she was using the guest bedroom, not wanting to admit that she fell asleep every night with her face buried into Serena's pillow, inhaling her scent. After a few weeks, once the bedding had been washed a few times, she'd started spraying the pillow with perfume. It was something that had always mystified her before meeting Serena, that need for closeness, but now it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Hello stranger," Serena whispered.

"Se-serena, when..wha...sor...I," she couldn't form a sentence and suddenly everything got too much and she broke down in tears. She'd promised herself that when Serena came back she wouldn't cry, she would stay strong and not show how much the sabbatical had affected her, but she wasn't prepared and she couldn't keep check of her emotions.

Immediately, Serena swept her up in her arms and sat them down on the bed, both of them sobbing, but smiling through the tears. Serena knew that Bernie was hurting but she would never admit it. She was so selfless like that, she'd known that the sabbatical was the best thing for Serena and ultimately it needed to happen if they were going to stay together in the long run, but it had been tough.

They sat in each others arms for a few minutes, not saying anything, just clinging on as if they were never going to let go. Once the tears had subsided, Bernie broke the silence.

"I'd have picked you up you know, no need to spend money on a taxi,"

"Four months of not seeing your partner and the first thing you say to her is incoherent, and the second is telling her off for spending money!" Serena smiled and brushed Bernie's fringe out of her eyes.

"Partner?" The reason Bernie had held back from any declarations of love or missing Serena was that she wasn't sure how much Serena would want from her when she returned. She might want them to go back to friends, discover each other again.

"Yes, of course...if you'd like? I know I've changed a bit, but one thing hasn't, Bernie. I need you in my life still. I'm not 100% yet, and but I'll get there, and I want to do that with you by my side, if you'll let me. I can't believe you supported me all the way, despite my lying and bullying and pushing you away. I know it's not going to be easy but I never want to leave you again. Thank you for understanding, giving me that time to myself, because I would have hurt you so much more if I'd stayed. You're bloody tough, Berenice Wolfe, and I love you," Serena wanted to say more, but as soon as she echoed what Bernie had said to her on that awful day the blonde had pulled her closer and crashed her lips onto Serena's. There'd be more time for talking in the future.

Bernie didn't do long, eloquent speeches about her feelings, they made her uncomfortable and always felt forced, so she tried to pour everything into this kiss. She wanted to show Serena that she was forgiven, that she didn't even have anything to be sorry for, that Bernie wanted to be Serena's partner, her equal, whatever life threw at them, she wanted to tackle it all with Serena by her side.

The kiss was urgent and desperate, both of them had needed this for so long and were battling to take control. They broke apart, panting slightly, and Serena pressed her forehead against Bernie's, one hand on her cheek.

"I love you too, Serena." they both smiled.

"Can I just ask one thing," Serena said, pulling them both down so that Bernie was lying with her head on Serena's chest, curled into her side. "Why on earth were you fast asleep at 9:30?"

"I got called in at midnight last night for an RTC, then had to do my normal day shift. Finished at 6, and I'm back in tomorrow at 8. It was a shit day, we lost two patients and had to amputate a 14 year old girl's leg. It's why I was, um, in your nightdress...I wanted to feel like i was next to you, and dressing a pillow in it felt a bit weird..." Bernie felt the heat rising in her cheeks as she admitted this.

"Well, I guess I should confess something as well," Serena kissed the top of Bernie's head and pulled her closer, "You know you've lost a pair of scrubs...well, I stole them, before I left. I've been wearing them in bed, so that I could feel closer to you."

Bernie looked up and saw tears forming in the corner of her eyes. She sat up and pulled the nightdress off, so she was just wearing boxers.

"I guess I don't need it now I've got the real thing here."

"You'll never need it ever again," Serena replied. "I don't want to spend another night away from you."

With that she took off her own clothes, wanting to be as close to Bernie as possible, to feel her skin against her own again. They held each other tightly, and neither let go, even when they were asleep. When they woke to Bernie's alarm the next morning, they stayed in the same position, saying nothing but just admiring each other. Both of them had been so nervous about being reunited, unsure if the other would want the same thing, but now all those fears seemed so silly. Of course they were going to have difficulties, but they had something special, and whatever happened they would always have each other.

 **The title is from a Jack Johnson song - Home, listen to it, it's beautiful** **  
** **The Hungarian drink is palinka, it can be made of many different fruits, I have tried it, it has a very acquired taste and is incredibly alcoholic.**


End file.
